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Teach Body Safety Skills

Although children can't be expected to fight off a potential abuser, parents and caregivers should still teach children skills to help them avoid unwanted touches. Educating children about unwanted sexual touches will lead to increased confidence in refusing touch that makes them uncomfortable and telling another adult. The majority of children don't tell about sexual abuse because they don't understand what is happening, they're afraid they won't be believed, or the abuser has threatened them.

Private Parts and Body Safety

• Teach body safety along with street safety, kitchen safety, fire safety, etc.
• Use proper names for genitals so children feel comfortable and able to accurately describe abuse should they experience it
• Private parts can be explained as the body parts covered by a swimsuit
• Teach children they have a right to say no to touches — don't force children to hug and kiss relatives, for example
• Teach children that no one has a right to touch them anywhere, including their private parts
• Discuss body safety in terms of "touching rules" — touching is never a secret; no one is allowed to force the child to touch him/her or force a touch on the child

Good Touch, Bad Touch, Confusing Touch

• Good touches feel good: a hug from mom and dad, a pat on the back, a handshake
• Bad touches feel bad: hitting, kicking, punching — encourage children to tell an adult if they receive a bad touch
• Confusing (or mixed-up) touches
  • Might feel good but it violates a touching rule
  • Might not feel good but the person tells the child to keep it a secret
  • Encourage children to tell if they receive a confusing touch
  • Believe children when they tell!

Conversation Starters with Older Children

It's not too late to discuss body safety with children 7 and older. Here are a few ways of starting the conversation:

• "I'd like to talk to you about something very important..."
• "I saw something on the news today that I want to talk to you about..."
• "I read about a child in the paper that..."
• "Has anyone ever touched you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable?"
• "What do you know about sexual abuse?"